Flat Tires and Elephants

You're looking at the title and you're thinking..."what?"

Let me explain.

Me+My Subaru+Newark, NJ=Disaster.

Let me explain further. 

I was in Newark, NJ for something sort of a party. Flo and Efrin had us over for a get-together with awesome food and some select Puerto Rican rum. I had noticed earlier that Flo had had nothing to drink except for water. Didn't think anything of it. Then, she proposed a toast. Then she said she was pregnant. We were elated. Well, most of us were, there were two who were utterly shocked. Then toasts followed. Then the party slowly ended and we all bid our adieus. I get into my car, start it, drive it for about two minutes, then realize that I have a flat tire. In Newark, NJ. At about 11:30pm. In Newark. Crap crap crap. Crap. So I change the flat tire, sweating through my shirt, thinking of how much it would cost me to get a new tire. And hoping that I get out of there without incident. I'm a big guy but a dark Newark street is not on the top of my list of favorite spots. I found myself swearing never to come to Newark again. Then I realized I had be at my Aunts house in the morning. The house is in Newark. Ugh. So, I get home, I open the fridge and I see some salvation for the night...

ELEPHANTS!

Now, if you're gonna ask me why I chose Carlsberg Elephant, you're gonna be disappointed. I was on my way home from work late one night and realized that I had nothing in the fridge. And by nothing I mean, I had no beer. Being that all liquor stores in the area are closed after a certain time, I had to pass by a bar and pick up a six pack. Only certain bars carry "packaged goods". By that they mean they sell beer "to go". I walk into this one called the Tilted Kilt and picked up the first thing I see other than Coors, Miller, and Budweiser. Just so happened to be this guy.

I have had Carlsberg beer before, a serviceable pale lager. However, I have not tasted this particular variety. I didn't quite know what to expect. Before I get into the the beer, lets talk about the brewery. The Carlsberg Group is a Danish brewing company founded in 1847. As it turns out, this brewing company is the 4th largest in the world. They hold several brands all over Europe and even has a 40% market share in Russia. That last bit might not be too impressive to you given that Russians love their Vodka. Think about it this way,  the Russian Beer market grew to $20 Billion in 2010. Bored yet? Ok, fine. Here:

The Elephant is what the "experts" call Imperial Pilsner. Now, I'm not really sure what that means. Does it have an empire? Is it going to take over the world? Who knows? What I do know is this: when a beer is prefixed by the word "imperial", it tends to be a stronger variation of the original. Like an Imperial Pale Ale (or IPA) is much stronger than a regular Pale Ale. So I check the beer's ABV (alcohol by volume). The 7.2% on the label confirms my theory. Its a pretty strong beer. Color does not indicate how strong a beer is and neither does its smell. In fact, I really couldn't smell much from the glass. That's why I was pleasantly shocked when I took a sip and was greeted with a very malty beginning and a sweet finish. However, the sweet finish does remind me a little bit of barleywine and that threw me off a little. Now, if you look this beer up, you'll find that  most people who rate beers will give this something between 4 and 6 out of 10. I feel as if 4 is harsh. Its a serviceable beer, like its parent variety. It wont be something I'll look for but still feel like I came out a winner  when I left the Tilted Kilt with something other than Coors, Miller, or Budweiser. 

And, dude, for goodness' sake! ELEPHANT! Its got an ELEPHANT on the bottle. AN ELEPHANT!

In the words of the most interesting man alive, stay thirsty my friends.